Wrapping up the thanksgiving holiday was much different for me this year than it has been in.... well in literally any other year I can think of. I don't just mean because of the pandemic, I mean yea, there's been that... but I mean in the entire way I viewed the holidays. For the first time in nine years I was home for the holiday. I sat at the same table I sat at as a child, and ate with both my parents and both my siblings like I was a kid again.
Last year I didn't go home for the holidays. There was a lot of reasons why, but I think ultimately, I just didn't have the energy to do so. While I wanted to celebrate and be thankful, I wasn't fully ready. This year, despite ALL the shit, I guess I was. I thought maybe it's because I didn't want to be all alone, or maybe it's because I was avoiding the neighbors, but when we all sat down to dinner the other day, my good friend Colin brown nosing my mom over her cooking, I knew it was because I was grateful for my family. Taking stock of what I have in life hits me each and every day, and having my whole family to come eat with, is a privilege. Yes they drive me crazy, my brother pesters me, my sister doesn't always want to converse, my dad shows me 35 pictures of the tiles he laid in the bathroom and my mother talks and talks and talks and talks.... but they're amazing. And I am so lucky.
Especially as we get older, we all get the chance to opt out of family gathering such as these. And for such a long time, I did. Some families grow apart. Maybe they don't make an effort, maybe they don't care, or maybe they literally can't be in the same room with each other because of hatred... but not my family. And as we get older, and we get the chance to opt out of family gatherings, I see the people in my life around me loose things I took for granted for so long. So I am grateful.
I'm not saying I want to make this a regular weekend thing or anything, I'm simply saying to take notice of all you have. The world craps on all of us, and before this year, not that many people realized it I think. So realize it. The world craps on all of us. That won't change. But what we do and how we act in response to that, makes all the difference in our world.
I'm just trying to make my corner of the world bright, I hope you can say the same.